Friday, May 9, 2008

Little Scorpion

(Sung to the tune of “Rubber Ducky”)

Little Scorpion, you’re the one,
You make me want to jump and run,
Little Scorpion, I’m awfully scared of you

Woo woo be doo

Little Scorpion, holy shit
I almost stepped on your stinging bit
Little Scorpion, you ain’t my best friend, it’s true

Doo doo doo doo, doo doo

Yesterday as I
Washed my face in the shower
I spied a little fella who
Made me yell “Aaaaah!” and cower


Little Scorpion, I’d thought you’d drowned
So I went to flush you down
Little Scorpion, you weren’t quite dead, were you?

Woo woo be doo

Yesterday when I
Tried bug spray to finish him
I found the little fella could
Run like hell around me


Little Scorpion, you’re finally dead
I dropped a frying pan on your head
Little Scorpion, I’m no longer scared of –
Little Scorpion, are there any more of –
Little Scorpion, maybe I’m still scared of yooooooou!

Doo doo, be doo


Anonymous said...

Perhaps not a photo to send your Mum.

Anonymous said...

Are you writing a book???

Megan said...

I am suddenly not so jealous of you!

Anonymous said...

Nasty little fatal is the sting? how lethal the poison? any idea? Some claim the sting does not kill, only cripples or hurts like hell or whatever. Is it true, Lord? is it true?

Hangzhou, PRC...old town...several years ago...with colleagues and friends...mostly Chinese-Canadians; some PRCers...just spent a wonderful day on the West Lakes [the boat, the poetry, the wine, the Hangzhou chicken]...having just spent an incredible night at a State Guest House used almost exclusively by Politburo members [Mao's Pavilion is still #1 and reserved for head of state]...having just purchased one of the finest art scrolls I own from the state store at the State Guest House [spectacular picnic scene, replica from Sung Dynasty, my favorite Chinese art possession] in the old city of Hangzhou...restored with stalls that sell food to locals and stuff for tourists...having just had my first [and only] bowl of dog-meat stew [yes, I ate dog and lived, and even liked it] after the usual sumptuous seafood and fish lunch at a grungy local resto, we walked off the stuffed feeling...but then I stopped short: there was a stall, there was a table with a large plexi-glass box, there was a crowd of people gathered around, laughing and Chinese partner Allen urged me forward, knowing my love of food...the crowd was curious about what the gwai-lo would do...but I stopped short when I saw this mass of writhing black scorpions in the plexi-glass box...a delicacy...pick out the liviest, and we'll pop it into the cauldron of hot oil, sprinkle it with soy sauce, and you pop it into your mouth...crunch, crunch, mmmmmm good...I stopped short... and everyone was amused...I have my limits...mind you, not many, esp for someone who just ate dog...

Since I can't sing, and my youngest kid is 26 so I cannot remember Ernie's rubber ducky song [although I have a personal collection of rubber ducks, even one that glows in the dark (don't ask)], I was more amused by the wacko lyrics than by the tune I was supposed to sing them to...the picture is worth a million words.

Keep those creative juices flowing. Victor

Anonymous said...

Hi Glenn, can you please ensure you discover a Kafanchan-wide scorpion-killer-system so the area is "clean" by the time we get there? Or do you think a frying pan will do?! ;o)
Cheers, Sabine

Glenn said...

For any of you who are interested in how dangerous my shower visitor was, here's a note from Melissa to fill in the details:

Hey Glenn,

I asked a friend of mine about the scorpion you found in your bathroom. He has scorpions as pets at home (don't ask...) and I was asking him whether or not he thought this particular one would be poisonous. Here's what he replied:

"That little guy doesn’t pack any poison, but he would have venom. Looking at the claws, the size of the stinger (telson), and the fact that it was found in Nigeria, I would suspect that it would be a stronger than a bee or wasp sting. On a scale of 1 to 10 (with 10 being max), I would suspect about a 2-4 area.
He could keep one in a critter keeper and feed it bugs that he finds."

There you go. The next one you find can become a pet and eat other bugs ;)



Thanks, Melissa! But here's hoping there won't be another scorpion!

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